How do we choose who to invite to our wedding?
Greetings G Wedding Directory!
I’m so excited to have been invited to join the Guru Team and take the Wedding Planning seat. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you, as well as practical hints & tips which will help you to create the perfect day for you and your betrothed.
Talking of invitations and seats, what a coincidence that the subject of my first post is the awkward topic of who to invite to your wedding. As soon as your engagement is announced (or plastered over social media as is now customary), you find yourself with more friends than Mark Zuckerberg himself. Work colleagues can’t do enough for you and your mother has used up her inclusive minutes ringing around the extended family.
It’s true that everyone loves a good wedding, and in the main, people genuinely want to wish you well. That said, there are always those who need some help to boost their social calendar, and others who can sniff out a free meal a mile away.
The thing to remember is that this is your day. A chance for you and your partner to celebrate your love for one another and make the ultimate declaration of commitment. The expensive clothes, the beautiful flowers and the delicious food are all key elements of what we think a wedding should be but in the end, when you take away the frills, all that matters, really, is that you have each other as you embark on the next chapter of your life together.
So, who should be on your wedding list and how do you decide who gets a seat?
If you have an unlimited budget, and a desire to share your wedding with the world, then go for it. Invite the barista who makes your morning coffee, or anyone else you bump in to on the way to work.
If, however, this is a special life event which you feel should be exclusively reserved for those you cherish most, or the venue of your dreams has limited capacity, then the following will help;
Start off by both writing down all of the names which automatically come to mind when you think of wedding guests. As this stage, do not filter your thoughts or challenge your partner’s suggestions. Just note them all down in your own big, long lists.
Once you have your individual lists, in an exercise not dissimilar to a game of ‘Top Trumps’, work your way through them, highlighting names which you have both written down. This is a great way of identifying those people who are special to you as a couple. It’s more than likely that these are people you socialize with often or share common values with.
Now return to the top of your lists and taking one name (or family group) at a time, answer the following questions to see if they get a seat;
Have you talked to this person in the last year?
If the answer is yes, then ask yourselves;
Do you spend time with them outside of work?
Are they someone you would usually share a meal with?
Will they enhance your wedding by being there?
If the answer to these 3 questions is No, then delete them from the list! Don’t hesitate otherwise you will start to feel guilty. Strike them from the list and move on.
If of course, you answered Yes to any or all of the 3 sub-questions, then they definitely need to be there. Put a big tick against their name.
If you haven’t spoken to them in the last 12 months, then you have some extra criteria to assess;
Are they family or friend?
Are they someone your parents would want to be there?
Do they even know your fiancée’s name?
If you cannot answer positively to the above, then ditch them. They haven’t bothered with you so why are you wasting your time, energy and money on them?
There you have it. Job done. Or is it?
A single exception to the rule may apply… Are your parents paying for the wedding?
They are? In that case, you best invite them.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the Wedding Planner does need to be there, though we won’t need a seat as we are usually behind the scenes making your day as magical and memorable as possible.
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